and dead at the same time. Walking around the city at night made me realize how much this place has saved me. Yes it provided me with one of the lowest points of my life, but at the same time, it picked me right back up and brought me back to life. It still amazes how beautiful life can be sometimes. I’m really excited to go home and go back to all of the things that I love there, but I can’t help feeling bittersweet and wishing I had more time to spend with the people here that have made my life so much better.
You gave me the greatest, most sincere compliment anyone has ever given me. The fact that you really think those things about me is still baffling, especially since you’ve helped me through one of the roughest times in my life and I don’t even think you know that. I can’t ever thank you enough.
I live through the night. There’s something about it that makes me feel more alive. Those who live by the sun never experience the change that overcomes people in the night. It doesn’t matter if you are intoxicated or sober, it will change you and consume you without permission. People talk about beautiful sunsets, but have you ever walked along the woods with the company of a full moon above. Have you ever laid in the middle of the road looking at a clear night of stars. The night is full of undiscovered beauties because of the fear of diving into the dark. Maybe that’s why I love the night, because underneath the terrifying moments where you hear a bump in the night or the breaking a twig, there’s the world at it’s finest and only those brave (or maybe foolish) enough to move past the initial fears are worthy to the exposure of these hidden moments.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the world today. The way the world expects you or me or anyone in general to be as a person. What I’ve concluded is what exactly defines the world? Who is it that wants me to be this specific person? The truth is, a lot of what is expected of me is from sources I don’t know or care about. Why care what “the world” thinks of me? I’m never going to see the look of disappointment from these people or hear their words of disapproval. The world, the real world, my world, are the people I’ve met and have made an impact on my life. The rest of “society” doesn’t matter. Yeah as I meet more people and grow, some of those members of society will matter, but as for today, I’m going to focus on who’s in my life. That is my world, their expectations take priority over what society wants from me. And only the people that care about me really. I’m done asking what the world wants from me. From now on, it’s what do the people that care for me and are good for me want from me and what do they deserve from me.
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out”—Roy Croft (via breakfastatkerris)